DON'T SHOOT AND DRIVE

DRIVERS WHO SHOOT AT PEOPLE FROM BEHIND THE WHEEL COULD FACE JAIL

CARELESS drivers who take potshots at fellow motorists while trying to change gear could face up to three months in prison.

Actor Jean Reno was fined £60 for this piece of nonsense on the A36 near Warminster

The government is to review current penalties for a range of driving offences including high-speed gun play and reading a book while approaching a roundabout.

At the moment both carry three penalty points and a £60 fine, but police are calling for stronger deterrents to prevent drivers from shooting-up their local dual carriageway.

Superintendent Bill McKay said: "You cannot possibly change gear or use your indicators and lean out of the window in an attempt to shoot out the tyres of the car in front of you.

"And driving an automatic is no excuse. You may not have to change gear but that doesn't mean you can settle back with a copy of Captain Corelli's Mandolin and a packet of Revels."

Supt McKay added: "If you do want to read or shoot at people, either pull over in a safe place or wait until you get to your destination.

"Or you could invest in a few talking books. My wife and I are currently enjoying The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail read by David Jason.

"As a matter of fact, we're planning a trip to Renne Le Chateau next year, where I intend to shoot at French people from the safety of a lay-by."

OLD SAILORS STORY

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads to the docks once more for old times' sake.

He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, " How am I doing "?

The prostitute replies, "Well old sailor, you're doing about 3 knots".

Three knots he asks, "What's that suppose to mean ?"

She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back !"

VIAGRA WORKS